Dear Father Time,

You elusive son of a bitch.

May 09, 2023

It’s funny how we use the metaphor of a book to try and wrangle structure out of our lives.

At least I do.

Close a chapter. Start a chapter.

But that metaphor is deceiving because the beauty of books is that you can always re read them. When we close a chapter in life, moments morph into memories. And that’s that.

While I am so eager to close this cancer chapter, watching Mackenzi close her chapter at Ohio State is bittersweet.

And that’s how it is with life chapters. Some we can’t wait to end…and others we’d have go on forever.

Time does whatever the fuck it wants.

We, mere humans, are simply along for the ride.

Sometimes where Mackenzi is concerned, I feel as if she and I are connected by some weird voodoo doll. Her hormones whack out, mine whack out. She gets a stomach ache, I get a stomach ache. She breaks out, I break out.

Yesterday, I teared up at Target when I saw the rack of Ohio State t shirts. Just thinking about her sadness makes me sad.

But that’s what really great chapters do. They make us incredibly happy and then incredibly sad. Or incredibly sad and then incredibly happy.

So my advice Mackenzi - you can’t have the happy without the sad or the sad without the happy - and both have their place along the ride. So take stock. Take a child’s pose when needed and cry when necessary.

And then…

See what the universe has up her sleeve.

Write your chapters as well as you can. And do your best to make the next better than the last.

None of us can fight you, Father Time. But I would appreciate it if you are kind to my sad graduate.

Juli